Therapy for me, Fun for you! My ideas, concepts, and general comments on the stupidity around me.
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
I got some great news today. The results of my HIV test are in, and I am disease-free. Feel free to do backflips now. I was extremely worried about being infected due to stupid decisions I've made in the recent past, but luckily, the only consequences to my idiotic actions were worry and a new sense of respect for monogamy. Hence, from now on, I will only be sleeping with the bf. (chortle) Oh yeah, I also got a wonderful letter in the mail today that reads as follows:
"Please accept this letter as notice that the Stark County Department of Job and Family Services has recently completed the assessment of risk involving Kaitlin. Due to new information, the disposition has been changed to indication [of sex abuse] to substantiated in regards to [the 23-year-old pervert she was fucking]." YAY! I'm reminded a little of that old Ringo Starr song (with a little poetic license taken) "You're 13, You're beautiful, and YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL, YOU PERVERT SON OF A BITCH!"
Not much news on the daughter front as yet. Her trial is Friday. She did call me today when I wasn't home and left a message for me to call her back since she had to read me some things she'd written. She also said she loved me. It's a little too early to hold out hope for a wake-up call for her, but maybe I'll practice a little optimism for a change. I did, however, find a few quotes that apply in some way to my life that you may find amusing. As pertains to my daughter--"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning." ~Caroline
As pertains to my own life, there are two:
"Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows," and "I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once." ~Jennifer Unlimited
Not much else to say today. Catch you guys later. And btw, just because I hadn't blogged in over a month is no excuse for everyone (except Cyn, whom I adore) not to make comments. So Pbbbbbbbbbbbt on you. =O)"
posted by Seekers at 2:20 PM
Monday, July 14, 2003
Ok...the intake hearing was supposed to be this morning at 8fucking30, but I had to sit in the waiting room until almost 10 o'clock. I was unthrilled, but finally they took us in for the intake. Actually, this process is more like an interview rather than a hearing but it gives the juvenile court liason an opportunity to see what the delinquent in question is like. It started out all amiable-like and ended with the court liason shouting at my daughter to shut up and quit whining. Not pretty. He also said that he was not going to recommend to the state that they release her because she obviously doesn't understand cause and effect and doesn't realize that whether she meant to cause harm or not, she did, and that is a crime. She kept crying and saying she was sorry. Well of course she's sorry. She got busted. Anyhow, the pre-trial in the afternoon went a lot faster. Kate's court-appointed attorney spoke to me briefly (no pun intended), only asking me if they would recommend release, would I be willing to take Kate home. I managed to say No Ma'am and was going to explain why, but the mousy bitch just said OK and ran off to the rock she must've crawled out from underneath. (pardon my grammar there) Anyhow, during the hearing, the state's rep stated that at that time, the stated didn't feel it was prudent to send Kate home due to safety issues. Then Kate's lawyer leaned over and whispered to her that I had said I wouldn't take her home. Kate turned around and shot me the dirtiest look I've ever seen her give anyone. If looks could kill, I'd have been a pile of ashes. I'm guessing that she's pissed at me. You think? Her trial is set for Friday morning, and they'll hold her until then. I doubt that they'll reduce her charge, but we'll see. I'm not sure how juvenile trials work, so I'll have to keep you posted.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the visit with the bf was spabulous even though today I feel like I got hit by the love bug--that's Herbie the Volkswagon for those of you old enough to remember. I'm sore in places I forgot I had muscles. Ah, memories....we shall enjoy them. =O) He's coming back on Thursday (yay). He's my favorite. (insert kissy noises here) My dryer went to the happy hunting ground, so he helped me hang laundry outside to dry and even strung me a second line. He's so sweet. I'm gonna keep him.
Um...lessee. Oh yeah. The husband went tractor-pulling on Sunday and won 3rd place in a class he usually doesn't compete in. I'm glad he's found something to do that he likes and that he's making friends. It's good for him, even if it is a totally redneck activity. He's a little upset--ok more than a little--that Kate's behavior has degraded as much as it has since she had an interest in tractor-pulling with him. However, after all the shit she's pulled--especially having accused him of touching her inappropriately and trying to rape her--he's just about done with her altogether. The aforementioned allegation was dropped, btw. She recanted her story, and the police said they didn't believe it either since when she gave her statement, she was changing her story each time and contradicting herself repeatedly. Nonetheless, he may not have been the perfect father, but he has helped raise her since she was two. Obviously, he was hurt, offended, and pissedasfuck about the allegations being made in the first place. I'm thinking that was pretty much unforgivable. I wonder if hypnotism would work for her. Repeated post-hypnotic suggestions that she behave like a decent human being and stop all the bullshit she's involved in. I'll look into it. Maybe I'll look into electroshock therapy too.
Ok, that's about it for now. I have to check my e-mail and then go to bed as I have plied myself with (prescribed) relaxation & sleep medications and am now seeing double on my screen and having trouble typing. Nighty night, y'all.
posted by Seekers at 10:15 PM
Sunday, July 13, 2003
Well avid soap-opera fans--our last episode left us on the edge of our seats (possibly toilet seats) awaiting the next chapter in Chaos Reigns Supreme. Today, we pick up with our heroine (me) bruised & battered, the leading-ish man (husband) with a pepsi bottle imprint in his chest, and the oh-so-delinquent Miss Congeniality (Kate) in the Multi-county Juvenile Attention Center, charged with domestic violence. Let's just suffice it to say she was most unthrilled to be handcuffed and dragged away by the heroic city police, but at least she was smart enough not to get a resisting charge added to her dossier.
We have intake and pre-trial on Monday morning. I'm not sure how that's going to go. It was a much simpler decision on my part regarding my son as violent behavior (as previously stated) is uncharacteristic of him. However, Miss Congeniality is a different story. Frankly, I'm not sure I can guarantee her safety--much less the safety of everyone else in the house--if she returns. One thing I can almost positively guarantee is that she is going to hate me even more after she's released. Plus I know that things can always get worse (refer to safety tip in earlier blog posts--oh wait a minute--I told you to write that down). I'm afraid they will, but I've never been much of an optimist.
Our injuries are relatively minor, but it's the principle of the thing. Knowing how domestic violence works, I am fully aware that things escalate. It's kind of like cheating on your spouse (which I also know inside and out--pun intended). The first time is always the hardest, and it just gets easier from there on. Practice does make perfect after all. Anyhow, everyone just have positive thoughts that this kid will straighten herself out before she completely ruins her entire life at 13. I wish to the gods I could do something, but I'm powerless. Teenagers (mostly) suck.
Ok, enough of the icky stuff. The bf is coming up to visit me today after a week-long absence in Virginia with family. He should be here within the hour, and I'm REALLY looking forward to seeing him. I'm thinking of recommending him for sainthood. He's warm, loving, understanding, insightful, comforting, and most of all he puts up with my bullshit and the melodrama (histrionics?) that go on around here. Yay! He's on the top of my Whattaguy list.
Everyone continue to beg & plead with the lottery fairy for us. This is no longer a wish, it's a desperate need. We're drowning here...we're swimmin' as fast as we can, Cap'n, but I dinna think we're gonna make it. =O) Bleah. I don't want to end on a negative note, so I'll relate a joke: Why can't a chicken coop have more than two doors? Because then it would be a sedan. HA HA HA HA HA Oh well, I've always had a particular fondness for stupid jokes. Got any grapes? ;-)